March of The Wooden Soldiers....aka Babes In Toy Land

Tagline: 1 and half hours of laughter

Plot: Ollie Dee and Stanley Dum try to borrow money from Barnaby to pay off Mother Peep shoe, when that fails they trick him into marrying Stan Dum…when that goes wrong Barnaby unleashed the dreaded and feared Boogey Men.

My Take: You all may know this movie as the original Babes in Toyland made in 1934 or seen one of its numerous remakes that were not as good with their monotone actors (I’m looking at you Keanu Reeves).  But this one is the original therefore maintains a lot of what the director and writer really wanted it to be...a wholesome family film that would become the staple for this movie goers christmas tree decorating day. Now when you look at this you wouldn’t real think of this as a Christmas movie…It takes place in the obviously fictional location called Toy Land (hence the name) The set design for that time rather well done between the Peeps shoe to the dark caves the Boogey Men come from each set is sight to see, its campy but still magical…like the land of Oz. It covered all the fairytale creatures; Jack and Jill, 3 little pigs, Bo Peep, and a brief cameo from Santa the only real glimpse of Christmas in the whole movie, and the list goes on, and each character is memorable. You can tell Barnaby is the evil villain because he has the clichéd slumped over with cape over the face as he walks with the over exaggerated facial expressions. It even has a knock off of Mickey Mouse which is funny saying that the director and Walt Disney were friends. And if you see the Disney remake they have knock offs of Laurel and Hardy’s character. Which actually brings me to Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurels characters; you may or may not have heard that Chris Farley and David Spade were compared to these two, even Jackie Gleason and Art Carney, or one of the variations of the two. Well these two were one of the original comedic teams, one is a bumbling idiot and the other is a overweight smarty pants. They feed off each other and the energy they share with each other is what makes the comedy work…in fact the original Looney Tunes mannerism are based off these two actors and many other hollywood actors at time and when you see the movie you will know which ones.

                Now as a movie in whole it is a classic, its movie for both kids and adults alike, complete with the overturning canon that shoots darts that stick into the rump of Oliver Hardy and other such physical comedy. Now as I mentioned before it was staple in my holidays as a kid, I’m not sure if CBS 6 had cameras in my home or what but I always remember decorating our tree and eating my father’s garbage bread while this was on, every year without fail. And the funniest part about it is that the first time I watched March of the Wooden Soldiers it was in B/W… the way it was made originally. Then the next year it was in color, but not the natural color we are accustomed to but the…abnormal color where you know it’s not suppose to be like that. Whether your watching it in the original B/W or color it is still a visual delight

Random Fun Fact: The "actor" in the "Mickey Mouse" costume was a capuchin monkey
                                
Final Thought: This movie is a classic; the humor holds up, it is a film that you will want to add to your holiday tradition, if not your movie collection. So buy it, rent it, and borrow it from a friend…get the family together crack open some eggnog and ribbon candy, and enjoy this holiday hit.

            I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danishes

Scrooged....A Christmas Carole Bill Murray Style

Tagline: The Spirits will move you in odd and hysterical ways.

Starring: Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, John Glover, Bobcat Goldthwait, David Johansen

Plot: Based of the famous Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. A greedy TV network president Frank Cross is a mean spirited cynical man. Who is visited by three ghosts that show him his past present and future based on the choices he has made in his past.

My Take: Scrooged is one of those renditions of a Christmas Carole that most certainly stands out. It does the story in its own way. It seems that every version of this beloved classic even the new versions seem exactly the same (even the creative minds at Disney couldn’t change it up). I get it why change a masterpiece…the same reason you would remix or sample a song…put a fresh spin on things.  Unlike the 100 different versions of it, where it takes place in the 1800s…and is spoken in old English, they decided to go with the more modern setting change the character names and decided to make it a comedy instead of more serious look at the spirit(s) of Christmas. I mean the theme is the same…but it was good to see something fresh.

          As a comedy it fires on all cylinders. Bill Murray always plays the perfect jerk, hell he sends bath towels to those in his life for Christmas presents  even his own brother. Cynical, mean, and uncaring yet you still love him and its that kind of character acting Bill Murray can do that makes this work so well. Every scene has a comedic moment that you will laugh at; even the moments that should be serious and moving leave you laughing (just see the ghost of Christmas past bit). You feel like you’re not watching A Christmas Carole but another Bill Murray classic. And that’s the magic of this movie. Like the Holiday its based around it has the magic and laughter that moves you to the Christmas spirit.

          As explained above the story follows A Christmas Carole and we all know that story so I won’t retell it. But the biggest difference to me was Tiny Tim. Instead of a crippled Caucasian boy with the trademark crutches, it was a young black boy that stopped talking since the passing of his father several years ago…and in my opinion was more deeply moving when at the end he whispered the famously infamous “god bless us…everyone”….yep I teared up. It felt like it was a Christmas miracle.

Best Reference: When Bill Murray says “feed me Seymore” an ode to Little Shop of Horrors in which he also starred in.

Fun Fact: Its fun to see in everyone of Bill Murrays movies his brothers always have cameos if not roles in his movies this one is no different.

The Spirit of the Holidays Described in One Line:

 Frank Cross: It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!

Final Thought: I know I didn’t reference moments in the movie like I do in my other reviews, and that’s because a movie like this you need to see for yourself and experience it first hand. It’s a Christmas classic that you will watch over and over and make it part of your holiday tradition, just like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and A Christmas Story. It has the magic of the holidays and the laugh a second comedy rolled into one…It’s a movie if you haven’t seen it…then you should.

          I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danishes                         

SAW VII....Im so happy to finally say its "Game Over"......maybe

Tagline: The traps come alive

Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Cary Elwes, Sean Patric Flanery

Plot:  Self help guru and survivor of Jigsaws game Bobby Dagen starts a new batch of life or death games. While Hoffman tries to protect himself and the Jigsaw legacy from being exposed.

My Take: Saw VII, Saw 3D, or whatever you want to call is a movie that was made for 1 of 3 people; the die hard fans, the ones that want to see how it ends, or the ones that like to see morbid deaths. Now I am one of those that wanted to see how they ended it and also see some cool deaths because that is the staple of the saw films…lets face no one cares about jigsaw (sorry Tobin Bell). But the movie left me disappointed because what made it great, all the cringing gross over the top deaths seemed bland and boring. The story and twists were predictable as always but unlike the other saw films you didn’t have that satisfaction of finding out you were right.

              As I said before I wanted to see how the traps and the deaths happened and the ending of the Saw Saga because well lets face it I invested a lot of time and money into these films. And I must say I was disappointed in both. The 3D film making was not used wisely. You see a spear fly at you, a jaw flies at you maybe a little splatter here and there…and that’s pretty much it. The Blood effects and color reminded me of George A Romeos 1970s Dawn of The Dead with the lighter shade of blood and fake looking skin strecthing. It would would have worked well if the film was made in the 70s.  The games were themed again which means if a victim used his or her voice to harm people….then they would have to have their voice box removed (which was one of the games) and the rest of games of course involved all those around Bobby being killed because they helped him spread the lies that he created to get rich. And compared to some of the traps in the previous Saw films these were tame which bummed me out. I wanted to cringe in my seat like I did when Shawnee Smith was pushed into the needle pit in Saw II.  It was fun however to see Chester Bennington from Linkin Park fly through a windshield because he failed to pull his stitched body out of car. 

                  *SPOILER* Now the twist was the worst part of the film…and as noted above the twist was predictable and I will tell you why…filmmakers seem to think that if you introduce a character at the beginning of a film and don’t mention him till the end then they hope you forget about him and be surprised when he returns. Well that was the step they took in this film. You see Cary in the beginning as a flashback to the first film. You see Cary at Dagens “Jigsaw Survivalist meeting” then you see him in the twist flashback…where you should go “OMG that was a TWIST” but instead makes you go…”are you serious he was helping Jig Saw this whole time so lame and out of all the sequels you find out now”, that was my actual quote. And the most tragic part is that they left it with the Hanging ending. Like in Saw II it ends with Cary’s Character locking Hoffman in the dungeon in the dark....I’m going to assume if they made enough money on this one you can expect, and I cringe when I say this, a Saw 8....I hope im wrong.

Social Commentary: Despite everything I didn’t like about the movie there was one scene that made me feel like I was watching a dark glimpse of society. The trap was set in a fiberglass case and spectators started to gather when the game started. Now when the trap started people started filming on their camera phones instead of calling for help. They watched the undignified death of a young woman with minimal help. Now I couldn’t help but think…is this what our society is becoming. With all the snuff films on the internet and tragic clips we see…why do we have a need to see it. Why are we so compelled to see the demise and torture of others around us. Have we become so custom to seeing death and tragedy that we need to see it, record it, and indulge ourselves in it.
Biggest Question: In regards to the trap mentioned above, how come no one noticed people shackled to a buzz saw…I get that it was part of an already standing display but still…did no one look at display the whole day or night prior to the game starting. Also why didn’t anyone notice someone dragging 3 bodies into the case. And tying them up…was I the only one confused by this. At least the other places the traps were held were isolated. This place was public. I wish they would explain that one.

Final Thought: Don’t see this movie. IF you must then be warned…you are wasting time and money even if it’s the dollar at red box. The 3D effects were disappointing, the story was lame, the blood and effects were some of the worst I have seen and over all it was just a disappointment.

                 

              I give it ½ a cheery cheese danish