Winnie the Pooh...As Sweet As Honey...Just Not As Sticky

Tagline: Oh Pooh

Cast: John Cleese, Jim Cummings, Bud Luckey, Craig Ferguson, Jack Boulter, Travis Oates, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Wyatt Dean Hall, Tom Kenny.

Plot: Poohs quest for honey leads him to find Eeyore upset because he lost his tail which then leads him to find a note from Christopher Robin who was kidnapped by the BACKSON...duh duh DUHHHHHH

My Take: Winnie the Pooh once again proves why he is so damn adorable. The story was once again well thought out, but what do you expect from a Disney flick. The animation due to todays movie making advances is really well. They used to really enhance the animation not  obliterate it into something horrible. I really appreciate the fact that the kept the innocents that Winnie the Pooh is instead of revamping it for a new generation. Everything is still intact including the characters personalities, the magic of Hundred Acre Woods, and the “dawwww” wriritng that made pooh so lovable. It’s a movie that the whole family will enjoy and not just the kids now please understand it doesn’t have the same adult humor the Shrek or Toy Story throws in BUT its adorable funny and everyone will enjoy it.

                The only issue I had is that it seemed like they put two different episodes together to create a 60 minute movie. Episode 1; Helping Eeyore find a tail and Episode 2; Saving Christopher Robin from the Backson and if you do the math 30 minute episode...there are 2 of them...means an hour long. But on the other note...its great because when you take the kids, well we all know kids cant sit still for a full 90 minutes so....its in your favor.

I lied Issue #2: With the length of the movie...did Disney still have to charge full price for 2/3 a movie...way to line the pockets sir.

What I really Enjoyed: the Fact the the movie plays like a story book. Where the job from page to page and interacts with the story words on the book and the narrator.

Final Thought: Poohs nails again with the adorable quest for honey and friendship.  Its funny, cute, and all around another flick that Disney will put into the platinum super  vault lock down only to be sold when they need money...im kidding....We love you Walt.

I Give it 5 Pooh Honey Puts

Friends With Benefits...All the Friendship Double the Benefits

Cast: Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Patricia Clarkson, Woody Harrelson, Jenna Elfman

Tagline: N/A

Plot: JT moves to the city to work for GQ and makes friends with Kunis...while watching movies and getting to know each other they decide they should have sex but only as friends to avoid Hollywood clichés...buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut well its Hollywood...you can figure it out.

My Take: As romantic comedies go this movie has everything that it should. Hilarious dialogue, intense sex scenes,  more hilarious dialogue, and then the conclusion. You already know what was gonna happen at the end but the journey there is what makes the movie so fantastical. When the movie starts out with a instant laughter as a JT spills coffee on his pants and has to switch with a coworker which your like ok...funny well awkward funny but then it goes one step farther when that coworker is going commando...and that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. What follows is a hilarious break up scene, and the beginning of the chemistry between JT and Mila Kunis.

                  The Chemistry the two of them can be in opinion (which is why you’re here to hear my opinion) is the same chemistry you would see on the set of friends season 9...everything flows perfectly between the two. And it solidifies JT as a comedic actor, if SNL skits didn’t do it. And Mila Kunis as  sexy well rounded actress. The sex scenes are well done and funny, even though it felt really awkward to see JTs Ass...I respect him enough not to see him naked. And I think they do a good job at ultimately answering the question the FWB do not work...feelings are always developed but if you can make it work....congratulations.

                  Now through out the movie they are doin there thing and each other while talking about Hollywood clichés, which I thought was a nice touch for this kind of movie as it was kinda poking  fun at itself..being in the romantic comedy genre.....and I always enjoy seeing a movie do that (see black dynamite review). But as you all know being in a romantic comedy it also has to follow the formula that it has been set forth by numerous others before it. What makes it work so well is the fact that it poke fun at the actions that they doing...I wont ruin the ending but you will see what I mean.

                  The character development is real well in that you get a good feel for the characters, you bond with them through out the movie and you begin to care about there actions. Which is how these movies should work, now I have seen countless romantic comedies where the character development is shotty and they rely on big name actors to sell it while all the needed was better writing.....im looking at you “The Proposal”. It also makes me feel even more fuzzy when they focus more on the comedy than the romance. Im not saying that this movie is just comedy with a little bit of romance..the balance is there and it works perfectly....like pepperoni on pizza. And again that is because of the amazing chemistry of Mila and JT

                  Now Mila and JT didn’t just make the movie hilarious, Woody Harrelson and JT gay sports writer...holy S*** was he hilarious, the lines he was saying and constantly questioning JTs sexuality. The cameos from Andy Samberg and Emma Stone, Shaun White (who is still a goofy looking man) threatening JTs character for bumping into him, and of course the movie they keep referencing  through out...all of it created a complete package...like popcorn and sodie pop.

Awkward movie moment for me: JT boner pee...yep.....I said it.

Final Thought: JT and Mila Kunis once again prove why they are top Hollywood actors and actresses...and top comedic actors and actresses. The chemistry shared is uncanny, the lines delivered have perfect timing, and it is all around good romantic comedy. Raunchy at times but well played. So grab your friend or girl or guy, or whatever your fancy is...grab a box of candies, popcorn, soda, rubbers and see this movie

I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danishs

Captain America....America F*** YEAH

Tagline: Avenge

Starring: Chris Evans, Hayley Atwell, Sebastian Stan, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugo Weaving

Brief Synopsis: Scrawny boy Steve Rogers tries to join the army fight in WWII. Because of his small stature he can not join and is enlisted because of his good heart and determination to take a super soldier serum, that magically increases his height, strength, agility, and all around fantastical, he goes off to fight the villainous red skull…..in this story of his first adventure.

My Take: While I never read the Captain America comics but because im a fan of the marvel movies and also a comic geek I was excited for this movie to come out. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a classic Superhero movie. Epic battles, dramatic stories, feats of epic greatness….and its sad to say that this movie….lacks some of all it to some degree.

                As a comic book movie it holds well. I mean I know Captain America if you think about it isn’t really a Super hero……he doesn’t have any real powers. Not like the X-Men or Hulk, or any other marvel hero. Heck Iron Man is the Batman of Marvel. But any who I digress again. Back to Cap, so he is a average Joe who wants to join the army but cant because at the time the military had a you must be this tall to join mentality he couldn’t, so he takes a l super soldier serum (roids) and becomes the epic hero we know today. So what does that mean really…what does that say to the youth of America….it means instead of joining the gym and eating right just take a drug that helps you get big and strong.  Nice CAP NICE…im kidding its comics its make believe…but  seriously ROIDS!!! On a serious note the move had some good action sets most memorably the POW escape where they had a very nice shot of Cap and Red Skull on a bridge with fire all around them standing defiantly toward each other, creating a epic goose bump making shot of the Hero and the Nemesis stand off...rather poetic shot if I do say so myself.

                The story is lacking, it starts off with the poor guy mentality, scrawny guy and cant do what he really wants so we feel bad for him. He gets beat up and picked on but then he is givin a great gift. he meets a girl the rushed love story happens. a couple action scenes..what happened to him...oh there he is...ok little more rushed love story...final battle...tragic end...thats not the end. The issue I have is the fact that his development into Captain America was good, but it wasnt an epic story, as I said before I never followed the Cap comics BUT...I know that he also fought alongside Wolverine on a couple missions which would have been a real cool throw too. But the rest of teh sub stories seems rushed and barely touched. If you were gonna do a love story at least develope it more so when the tragic moment happens you feel something more.

                What made me laugh though was some of the dialogue, the script was written some well put doses of humor, it caught me off guard. Seeing Chris with the scrawny body at the beginning was also a comical thing to see…I feel like it was CGIed…perhaps it was..ill never tell. But it just made me laugh because we all know Chris is not built like that and his head at times seemed too big for his body. And I would like to give praise to Red Skull make up artist, he looks fantastic. Im not going to lie some of the best make up I have seen in a marvel movie next to mystique. Another note of entertainment value I want to mention is Caps “Acting” time in the movie to help propaganda and encourage the troops. Seeing Howard Stark was also a fun treat.

Where ‘s Stan: The one thing I enjoy about all the marvel movies is the Where’s Stan...where is Stan Lees brief 5 second cameo. ECSELSIORE!!!

Final Thought: As Marvel movies go, this is one not of the best BUT it is definitely worth seeing. The funny lines actions sequences and story make it a block buster delight. I recommend getting a D&D Cap Trimug Coolatta a Cap Donut, and get ready for this summers Marvel movie adventure.

I give this 4½ Shields

Never Let Me Go...Yep this movie wont let you go

Tag Line: N/A

Cast: Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield, Keira Knightly

Plot: 3 Friends have to deal with their predetermined fates while discovering who they are and what they want.

My Take: Following the story of 3 kids lives from child hood into adult is often hard to do…because the movie tends to rush it….loosing storytelling and VERY important character development in order to put the whole thing into a two hour slide show. And sadly this movie has done the same thing. Not saying its bad and it stills conveys the same emotion and touch it was suppose to…I just wish they didn’t rush it.

              *SPOILERS ALOT OF THEM*The movie starts off in a seemingly nice boarding school where we meet the main characters Kathy, Tommy, and Ruth. Here is where we establish who loves who and starts the bases of the love story. They also learn about what they are meant to do. They receive tokens, which just like chucky cheese, can be cashed in for a seemingly useless and broken things. They have their classes and everything is normal. We fast forward 5 years They leave the school and move to a tiny little village…where they continue to live their short lives. We see them trying to deal with what the fact that yes….you will die in a 15 years. We fast forward 5 years. We learn that Kathy has become a caregiver, someone that cares for those giving their organs, Ruth has started donations and gives Tommy back to Kathy. We fast forward 5 years Kathy and Tommy have tried to get an extension because they love each other and find the dean of their old school to find it how to get one…where they learn a rather sad truth. Fast forward 5 years…the end.

Now I just summed up the movie I did disclosed some plot points but not in great detail. And the reason I said all that is to really establish the pacing of the movie. And this is really how it goes. It seems rather rushed doesn’t it. If they took an extra half hour to really establish each character well and tell a deeper story than the tragic end would linger more. And I don’t mean to deter people from seeing it…I believe any movie is worth seeing.

I do however believe they did a good job establishing the bond they have for one another and the love that bond created. And that through the heart felt dialogue that is delivered from to time. When one of these lines are delivered (just check out the quotes seen below) it tugs at the heart strings.

Memorable Quotes: Miss Lucy : None of you will go to America. None of you will work in supermarkets. None of you will do anything, except live the life that has already been set out for you. You will become adults, but only briefly. Before you are old, before you are even middle aged, you will start to donate your vital organs. And sometime around your third or fourth donation, your short life will be completed. You have to know who you are, and what you are. It's the only way to lead decent lives.

                                 Kathy: It had never occurred to me that our lives, so closely interwoven, could unravel with such speed. If I'd known, maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them.

Unanswered Question: WTF were they…were they clones, test tube babies, or unwanted children?

Final Thought: Despite the rushed story. It was touching, moving, and slightly thought provoking. Dialogue delivered was moving and touching when needed.  I would grab a couple tissues, some wine, and cheese...and watch the journey of three friends as discover the value of their very short lives.

              I give it 3.5 out of 5 Cherry Cheese Danishes

The Rite...This isnt your mothers Exorcism...get over it

Tagline: You can only defeat it when you believe

Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Colin O’Donoghue, Alice Braga, Ciaran Hinda

Plot:  Michael Kovak travels to Italy to study exorcism all the while battling with his own beliefs and inner demons

My Take: Giving the amount of exorcism movies out there it’s not hard to compare one to another. This movie suffers the same scrutiny…and it shouldn’t. This movie takes a semi believable look at exorcisms. Now im not saying this movie has any credibility when it comes to topic because after all…it is Hollywood. But I don’t think its fare to compare this to the Exorcism and then bash it  like some people have…because if you want that movie…then watch it THAT movie.

                        But enough of those shenanigans…lets get to the movie. Its not as gritty a look at exorcisms as I had hoped for but it does a really good job of maintaining the creepiness that the topic brings...we can thank the actors for that. Each actor plays their part to the letter making every line believable. Sir Anthony Hopkins once again proves to us why he is a legendary actor playing the seen it all Father Lucas Trevant who has a strong faith and knows that the devil is real. Colin O’Donogue portrays the skeptic priest that no longer believes in God after the passing of his mother. However there were a couple scenes where you could have entered a priest and a child joke. The pacing of the movie was right on time…I didn’t find myself bored at all during the film. The mix of dialogue and action was very well proportioned.

 The conflict of faith; believing to non believing. If there is devil then there has to be a god is really well done between the arguments upheld by Kovak and Father Lucas. The freight is upheld by the occasional jump at you scares. By the real creepiness stems from the victims of possession and of course the final battle between good vs evil. I enjoyed not seeing silly contorted bodies you see in other “Hollywood possessions” and a lack of CGI. The make up effects of the possessed is really good. With the darkness around the eyes…I honestly felt like that is way it should look. Not the decaying skin and lacerations. However I did find it odd listening to devil speak gibberish instead of the generic curse words and swears. But then again I often felt the devil would be a slick man and not need to swear so much. And the final conflict lead up to my expectations…actually it went beyond what I was expecting I felt myself wishing I could fight the devil hand to hand.

Oddest things over

heard leaving the theater: “This movie has officially made me believe in god again”

                                           

                                           “I really need to start going back to church”

Random moment

that made me chuckle:  When Hopkins finally gets possessed and Smacks a little girl...really unexpected…and slightly comical

Final Thought: Giving the fact that it was a rated PG-13 like a lot of horror movies are (obviously because they can draw a larger crowd and make more money) it still maintained a really good story some creepy moments. The devil speaking in what seemed like nursery rhymes still seemed slightly odd BUT it is Anthony Hopkins speaking them which makes it creepy on its own…So by all means grab your holy water and crouton ‘o’ christs and see it theaters, on demand, or red box it when it comes either way this is one I wouldn’t recommend missing.  

                        I give it 4 out 5 cherry cheese Danishes

3D Movies....to 3Do or 3Dont (Lame I know)

With todays technology it is no surprise that we are looking for the next thing to cash in on. And what better than to make movies 3D and 3D TVs….but is this move really necessary. Is now the time to make 3d movies?

A Very Brief History: 3D movies began being released in the 1950s…it was not a huge success giving the cost it needed to film the movies using the technology at the time...and in order to get the 3D effect you had to wear those beloved red and blue glasses. And the reason you needed those is because when the film was shot they filmed in 2 different perspectives or depths and needed to overlay the film…henceforth the need to use the red and blue to distinguish between which depth is what.

The 3D movies made a comeback in the 80s and 90s with the beginning of IMAX and Disney technologies (they rule the world). But they really took off in the new millennium and more specifically the past couple years.

Is it Necessary: With the current success of the 3D films it is no wonder why they are making EVERY movie in 3D and even releasing Blu-Rays in 3D format as well. But is the need to have 3D movies really needed. I can see making a movie in 3D if it was one that really utilized the effect of things coming at you and really gave you the perception of being there. And there have been a lot of movies made that don’t need to have the 3D effect and it seems like the movies are being filmed around the 3D effects. More specifically films like Resident Evil: Afterlife and Saw VII. Both films barely utilized the effect. The couple times RE:A was when the Axe Man thrown his axe which granted was cool but not jaw dropping and when Alice shot the quarters out of her sawed off. Especially when you saw the same thing in Saw VII but instead of an axe it was mechanical spear in a girls dream. Avatar used the 3D effect but it worked out real well because of the setting of the movie and how it was shot. It had environmental effects coming at you and the action sequences that were a good use of 3D but sadly movies like that are few and far between.

Spending that few extras dollars to see one or two things come at you does not seem warranted. Especially when after a while your eyes, like with everything else you stare at for 90-120 minutes, your eyes get adjust to. So essentially you have 10-25 minutes of wowness and 75 minutes of uncomfortable glasses. Its also a shame when they use the same effect in every movie…its 90 minutes of mediocre story and that one shot of something coming at your face. Now I know there are movies that use it more frquently but it doesn’t make the movie itself any better and that is the issue…they spend millions of dollars to make these movies in 3D in hopes to make an extra buck when all they really need to work on is the story itself. An example of Hollywood making a cash cow or in this case rereleasing a cash cow is Star Wars in 3D…all six of them starting in 2012…is it necessary not at all…but it will make HUGE bank.

What They Got Right: Hollywood is still making the good decision by releasing both a regular and 3D versions of movies, regular cheaper than the 3D of course. I feel if  they are to make 3d movies….make them in regards to world roller coasters…flying in a F-14…or something that would really utilize the 3D effects. Dont just film a movie in 3D, film a pie coming at your face, and expect us to buy into it. Its insulting to the movie goer. Until a movie is made that warrants the full use of 3D effects...don't make one.

**

A LIST OF UPCOMING 3D MOVIES (titles subject to be added ot removed)

2011 The Green Hornet [mostly post-converted to 3D] (IMAX 3D, Real D) – January 14 Sanctum (IMAX 3D, Real D) - February 4 Gnomeo and Juliet (Real D) – February 11 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (Real D) - February 11 Drive Angry (Real D) – February 25 Mars Needs Moms! (IMAX 3D, Real D) – March 11 Rio (Real D) – April 15 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy - May 1 Thor [post-converted to 3D] (Real D) – May 6 Priest [post-converted to 3D] (Real D) – May 13 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (IMAX 3D, Real D) – May 20 Kung Fu Panda 2 (IMAX 3D, Real D) – May 27 Green Lantern [post-converted to 3D] (Real D) – June 17 Cars 2 (IMAX 3D, Real D) – June 24 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Real D) – July 1 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2 of 2) [Warner Bros., post-converted to 3D] (IMAX 3D, Real D) – July 15 Captain America: The First Avenger [post-converted to 3D] (IMAX 3D, Real D) – July 22 The Smurfs (IMAX 3D, Real D) – August 3 Conan the Barbarian - August 19 Fright Night (IMAX 3D, Real D) – August 19 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (IMAX 3D, Real D) – August 19 Final Destination 5 (IMAX 3D, Real D) – August 26 Shark Night 3D - September 2 Piranha 3DD (Real D) - September 16 A Dolphin's Tale (IMAX 3D, Real D) – September 23 The Three Musketeers – October 14 Contagion (IMAX 3D, Real D) – October 21 Puss in Boots (IMAX 3D, Real D) – November 4 Immortals (IMAX 3D, Real D) - November 11 Happy Feet 2 (Real D) – November 18 Arthur Christmas (IMAX 3D, Real D) – November 23 Hugo Cabret (Real D) – December 9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (Real D) – December 16 The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (IMAX 3D, Real D) – December 23 The Cabin in the Woods [post-converted to 3D] (Real D) – TBA Journey 2: The Mysterious Island – TBA

2012

• Ice Age: Continental Drift - July 13, 2012
• Wrath of the Titans 3D (Real D) - March 30, 2012
• Titanic 3D Re-Release (IMAX 3D Real D) – April 27, 2012
• Men in Black III (Real D) - May 25, 2012
• Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D Re-Release (Real D) - Late 2012
• Yellow Submarine (Real D) - TBA 2012
• Spider-Man (2012 film)

2013

• Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones 3D Re-Release (Real D) - TBA 2013

2014

• Avatar 2 [Fox, shot in 3D Fusion Camera System] (IMAX 3D, Real D, Dolby 3D, XPan 3D...in 2000+ 3D screens)^[43]
• Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 3D Re-Release (Real D) - TBA 2014

2015

• Avatar 3 [Fox, shot in 3D Fusion Camera System] (IMAX 3D, Real D, Dolby 3D, XPan 3D...in 2000+ 3D screens)^[43]
• Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope 3D Re-Release (Real D) - TBA 2015

2016

• Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back 3D Re-Release - TBA 2016

2017

• Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi 3D Re-Release - TBA 2017

**as seen on wikipedia

True Grit.....How the west was AWESOME

Tagline: Punishment comes one way or another.

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin

Plot: Rooster Cogburn helps head strong Mattie Ross hunt for her daddy’s killer Tom Chaney in the remake of a John Wayne classic,

My Take: Only recently have I really gotten in to the old time westerns. The Good the Bad the Ugly, True Grit, Fist Full of Dollars all classics for their no hold bar anything goes look at the old west. The directorial style each one had was for the time so dramatic and made them really entertaining as you had the close up of the faces during the classic gunslinger duels, the close up of the twitchy fingers as they wait to draw the pistols, and let’s not forget the acting. Now the acting plays a big role in the old time westerns, just about anyone can replicate a horse back gun duel, or 2 men standing in the dirt covered road of the town with spectators running for the safety of their homes as high noon approaches. But sadly no one has really been able to really draw upon the acting that makes a really good western, well not since Tombstone.

                Being a huge a fan of the original (and no im not going to really compare the two and the reason is, its not fair to compare essentially someone else vision to another’s. And I think that’s why remakes get a bad rap because they do compare to them to the original….but ill save that for another time). But I will say this, the dialogue is almost identical to the original, the quips and intense dialogue still the same. There were some scenes added and taken out from the remake that honestly didn’t hinder the story or alter it….it made the story run smoothly. The story of Mattie Ross journey for revenge with Cogburn is well done the dialogue between the two flows so naturally a beat is never missed. The way the Coen brothers captured the action and the dramatic scenes make this movie really stand out amongst a lot of the recent westerns made.

                But what made this movie so…intense was the each actor portrayed every character. Lets start with Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn, he played as a gritty, fearless man who loved his whiskey. His delivery in lines and stature as portrayed by Bridges will make you laugh but also make you feel the intensity and seriousness that is Rooster Cogburn. Next we have La Boeuf played by Matt Damon, The portrayal of La Boeuf was well-done in that he is Cogburn polar opposite. He is a Texas ranger and lives the honor of one often reciting ranger code, Damon plays him straight always clashing heads with Cogburn and ultimately coming to his aid and “proving himself.” Next we have Tom Chaney played by Josh Brolin. You don’t see much of Brolin till third quarter of the film. And you get the feeling he there is something off with him not necessarily evil but corrupt in some way. Brolyn played it nicely, he gave the character a dirty look of the killer on the run that would do anything to stay free and clear of the law, with the line deliver and swagger to boot…but you still liked him. Finally we come to the lady who stole the movie Mattie Ross, played by Hailee Steinfeld. She is a very head strong stubborn young woman, she is smart and knows how to play the game per say. She can talk herself into and out of just about anything. Her determination and will is very well portrayed and you cant but fall in love with her character.  She gives the movie the heart and the balance it needs to have.

Memorable Quotes: Mattie Ross:  I won't rest until Tom Chaney's barking in hell.  

 Mattie Ross:  Now I know you can drink whiskey and I saw you kill a rat, but all the rest has been talk. I'm not paying for talk. I can get all the talk I need at the Monarch Boarding House.

  Rooster Cogburn:  I ought to paddle your rump!

  Mattie Ross: I don't know how you propose to do that from that hog wallow you're sunk into. If I smelled as bad as you I wouldn't live near people.

Memorable Moments:  Tree branch hanger

                                      The cabin with the 2 criminals and one was injured

                                      The final horse duel

                                      The Snake bite rescue

Final Thought: As mentioned at the beginning I have not seen a western this intense with great writing and a camera work since Tombstone. And I haven’t been this enthralled in a movie since Dirty Harry . So Saddle up your horse cook up some beans, and ride yourself to the local movie saloon and be prepared for a journey only the Coen brothers and the Wild West can give you

                       I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danish’s

Danish Top 10 of 2010

My top 10 movies I really enjoyed in 2010 and brief reason why I liked it…ENJOY

10. Last Exorcism – Though some consider it to be slow and boring at times. But I think thats caused by our demand for scary movies to be in your face freight. I enjoyed the documentary style they took in. The “boring” parts were well placed build ups to the intense conclusion.

09.  Fright Night – As Vampire movies go this is one is really entertaining. A horror movie buff finds out his neighbor is a Vampire and has to convince those around him of it…it has a werewolf blood and a good special effects, whats not to love.

08. From Paris With Love – John Travolta was a complete bad ass. He was the classic secret agent, all about T, A, and Explosions. With the smart-ass cynic attitude it makes the movie an absolute delight.

 07. My Name is Bruce – It’s a movie starring Bruce Cambell as himself. And the whole movie is a shot at his career one right after the other until he is called upon by a HUGE Bruce fan to save a small town from an ancient Chinese spirit. Some people felt this was suppose to be the new Evil Dead but it wasn’t and that’s ok, its still Bruce being good ol Bruce.

06. Iron Man 2 – Nothing beats a classic Marvel movie…and Iron Man 2 was no different, between the cynical Downey Jr, CHeadle, Johansson, Paltrow, Rockwell, Rourke, and you cant forget Jackson each character works so well with each other and creates an energy that has tops the first one. With fantastic special effects, great action sequences and dialogue…you can go wrong.

05. The Other Guys – Wahlbergs first step into comedy sadly was not met with great praise…but if you give this movie a chance you will like it. Farrell being the calm life behind a desk cop and Walhberg playing the action driven life in the fast line cop and making these two partners you know they are clash in humorous ways. There are quite a few memorable scenes in it. And it was great to see Farrell in a different roll other than his…lets scream and be obnoxious all the time.

04. Family Guy: It’s a Trap – Being the final installment in the Family Guy Star Wars Trilogy, they didn’t hold back. From the beginning they take parody Star Wars and even take some shots Family Guy itself and the end when they make fun of Seth MacFarlane and Seth Green. Its classic family guy humor.

03. Ticks – The cheesy special effects, the clichéd 1990s teenage characters, and the silly acting makes this campy horror film so enjoyable. Its easy to sit back relax and poke fun at the film. But you can also sit and creeped at the gooey pods the Ticks emerge from.

02. Kick Ass – So much more violent than what I thought it was going to be. It gave the life of super heroes a grittier dirtier look. Nicholas Cages Torture was brutal. It had a good story left it open for a sequel and hell the action scenes were really good.

Finally the moment you have been waiting for the number one movie of the Year according to Danish.

01. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World – This movie decides to mix artistic style with story more heavily leaning on the artistic style. It mixes several different medias, music, movie (of course), and video game to create a visually stunning 120 minute orgy for your eyes. Its a lot of fun to trying find all the references to different games movies and music….its like a Where’s Waldo book on screen. With the action scenes being over the top and story being really well written…there is a reason why this became a highly buzzed about movie and a reason its number 1 on this list.

Stay tuned for more movie reviews….TRUE GRIT, BLACK SWAN, of course SCOTT PILGRIM, along with many many more.

March of The Wooden Soldiers....aka Babes In Toy Land

Tagline: 1 and half hours of laughter

Plot: Ollie Dee and Stanley Dum try to borrow money from Barnaby to pay off Mother Peep shoe, when that fails they trick him into marrying Stan Dum…when that goes wrong Barnaby unleashed the dreaded and feared Boogey Men.

My Take: You all may know this movie as the original Babes in Toyland made in 1934 or seen one of its numerous remakes that were not as good with their monotone actors (I’m looking at you Keanu Reeves).  But this one is the original therefore maintains a lot of what the director and writer really wanted it to be...a wholesome family film that would become the staple for this movie goers christmas tree decorating day. Now when you look at this you wouldn’t real think of this as a Christmas movie…It takes place in the obviously fictional location called Toy Land (hence the name) The set design for that time rather well done between the Peeps shoe to the dark caves the Boogey Men come from each set is sight to see, its campy but still magical…like the land of Oz. It covered all the fairytale creatures; Jack and Jill, 3 little pigs, Bo Peep, and a brief cameo from Santa the only real glimpse of Christmas in the whole movie, and the list goes on, and each character is memorable. You can tell Barnaby is the evil villain because he has the clichéd slumped over with cape over the face as he walks with the over exaggerated facial expressions. It even has a knock off of Mickey Mouse which is funny saying that the director and Walt Disney were friends. And if you see the Disney remake they have knock offs of Laurel and Hardy’s character. Which actually brings me to Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurels characters; you may or may not have heard that Chris Farley and David Spade were compared to these two, even Jackie Gleason and Art Carney, or one of the variations of the two. Well these two were one of the original comedic teams, one is a bumbling idiot and the other is a overweight smarty pants. They feed off each other and the energy they share with each other is what makes the comedy work…in fact the original Looney Tunes mannerism are based off these two actors and many other hollywood actors at time and when you see the movie you will know which ones.

                Now as a movie in whole it is a classic, its movie for both kids and adults alike, complete with the overturning canon that shoots darts that stick into the rump of Oliver Hardy and other such physical comedy. Now as I mentioned before it was staple in my holidays as a kid, I’m not sure if CBS 6 had cameras in my home or what but I always remember decorating our tree and eating my father’s garbage bread while this was on, every year without fail. And the funniest part about it is that the first time I watched March of the Wooden Soldiers it was in B/W… the way it was made originally. Then the next year it was in color, but not the natural color we are accustomed to but the…abnormal color where you know it’s not suppose to be like that. Whether your watching it in the original B/W or color it is still a visual delight

Random Fun Fact: The "actor" in the "Mickey Mouse" costume was a capuchin monkey
                                
Final Thought: This movie is a classic; the humor holds up, it is a film that you will want to add to your holiday tradition, if not your movie collection. So buy it, rent it, and borrow it from a friend…get the family together crack open some eggnog and ribbon candy, and enjoy this holiday hit.

            I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danishes

Scrooged....A Christmas Carole Bill Murray Style

Tagline: The Spirits will move you in odd and hysterical ways.

Starring: Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, John Glover, Bobcat Goldthwait, David Johansen

Plot: Based of the famous Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. A greedy TV network president Frank Cross is a mean spirited cynical man. Who is visited by three ghosts that show him his past present and future based on the choices he has made in his past.

My Take: Scrooged is one of those renditions of a Christmas Carole that most certainly stands out. It does the story in its own way. It seems that every version of this beloved classic even the new versions seem exactly the same (even the creative minds at Disney couldn’t change it up). I get it why change a masterpiece…the same reason you would remix or sample a song…put a fresh spin on things.  Unlike the 100 different versions of it, where it takes place in the 1800s…and is spoken in old English, they decided to go with the more modern setting change the character names and decided to make it a comedy instead of more serious look at the spirit(s) of Christmas. I mean the theme is the same…but it was good to see something fresh.

          As a comedy it fires on all cylinders. Bill Murray always plays the perfect jerk, hell he sends bath towels to those in his life for Christmas presents  even his own brother. Cynical, mean, and uncaring yet you still love him and its that kind of character acting Bill Murray can do that makes this work so well. Every scene has a comedic moment that you will laugh at; even the moments that should be serious and moving leave you laughing (just see the ghost of Christmas past bit). You feel like you’re not watching A Christmas Carole but another Bill Murray classic. And that’s the magic of this movie. Like the Holiday its based around it has the magic and laughter that moves you to the Christmas spirit.

          As explained above the story follows A Christmas Carole and we all know that story so I won’t retell it. But the biggest difference to me was Tiny Tim. Instead of a crippled Caucasian boy with the trademark crutches, it was a young black boy that stopped talking since the passing of his father several years ago…and in my opinion was more deeply moving when at the end he whispered the famously infamous “god bless us…everyone”….yep I teared up. It felt like it was a Christmas miracle.

Best Reference: When Bill Murray says “feed me Seymore” an ode to Little Shop of Horrors in which he also starred in.

Fun Fact: Its fun to see in everyone of Bill Murrays movies his brothers always have cameos if not roles in his movies this one is no different.

The Spirit of the Holidays Described in One Line:

 Frank Cross: It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!

Final Thought: I know I didn’t reference moments in the movie like I do in my other reviews, and that’s because a movie like this you need to see for yourself and experience it first hand. It’s a Christmas classic that you will watch over and over and make it part of your holiday tradition, just like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and A Christmas Story. It has the magic of the holidays and the laugh a second comedy rolled into one…It’s a movie if you haven’t seen it…then you should.

          I give it 5 Cherry Cheese Danishes                         

SAW VII....Im so happy to finally say its "Game Over"......maybe

Tagline: The traps come alive

Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Cary Elwes, Sean Patric Flanery

Plot:  Self help guru and survivor of Jigsaws game Bobby Dagen starts a new batch of life or death games. While Hoffman tries to protect himself and the Jigsaw legacy from being exposed.

My Take: Saw VII, Saw 3D, or whatever you want to call is a movie that was made for 1 of 3 people; the die hard fans, the ones that want to see how it ends, or the ones that like to see morbid deaths. Now I am one of those that wanted to see how they ended it and also see some cool deaths because that is the staple of the saw films…lets face no one cares about jigsaw (sorry Tobin Bell). But the movie left me disappointed because what made it great, all the cringing gross over the top deaths seemed bland and boring. The story and twists were predictable as always but unlike the other saw films you didn’t have that satisfaction of finding out you were right.

              As I said before I wanted to see how the traps and the deaths happened and the ending of the Saw Saga because well lets face it I invested a lot of time and money into these films. And I must say I was disappointed in both. The 3D film making was not used wisely. You see a spear fly at you, a jaw flies at you maybe a little splatter here and there…and that’s pretty much it. The Blood effects and color reminded me of George A Romeos 1970s Dawn of The Dead with the lighter shade of blood and fake looking skin strecthing. It would would have worked well if the film was made in the 70s.  The games were themed again which means if a victim used his or her voice to harm people….then they would have to have their voice box removed (which was one of the games) and the rest of games of course involved all those around Bobby being killed because they helped him spread the lies that he created to get rich. And compared to some of the traps in the previous Saw films these were tame which bummed me out. I wanted to cringe in my seat like I did when Shawnee Smith was pushed into the needle pit in Saw II.  It was fun however to see Chester Bennington from Linkin Park fly through a windshield because he failed to pull his stitched body out of car. 

                  *SPOILER* Now the twist was the worst part of the film…and as noted above the twist was predictable and I will tell you why…filmmakers seem to think that if you introduce a character at the beginning of a film and don’t mention him till the end then they hope you forget about him and be surprised when he returns. Well that was the step they took in this film. You see Cary in the beginning as a flashback to the first film. You see Cary at Dagens “Jigsaw Survivalist meeting” then you see him in the twist flashback…where you should go “OMG that was a TWIST” but instead makes you go…”are you serious he was helping Jig Saw this whole time so lame and out of all the sequels you find out now”, that was my actual quote. And the most tragic part is that they left it with the Hanging ending. Like in Saw II it ends with Cary’s Character locking Hoffman in the dungeon in the dark....I’m going to assume if they made enough money on this one you can expect, and I cringe when I say this, a Saw 8....I hope im wrong.

Social Commentary: Despite everything I didn’t like about the movie there was one scene that made me feel like I was watching a dark glimpse of society. The trap was set in a fiberglass case and spectators started to gather when the game started. Now when the trap started people started filming on their camera phones instead of calling for help. They watched the undignified death of a young woman with minimal help. Now I couldn’t help but think…is this what our society is becoming. With all the snuff films on the internet and tragic clips we see…why do we have a need to see it. Why are we so compelled to see the demise and torture of others around us. Have we become so custom to seeing death and tragedy that we need to see it, record it, and indulge ourselves in it.
Biggest Question: In regards to the trap mentioned above, how come no one noticed people shackled to a buzz saw…I get that it was part of an already standing display but still…did no one look at display the whole day or night prior to the game starting. Also why didn’t anyone notice someone dragging 3 bodies into the case. And tying them up…was I the only one confused by this. At least the other places the traps were held were isolated. This place was public. I wish they would explain that one.

Final Thought: Don’t see this movie. IF you must then be warned…you are wasting time and money even if it’s the dollar at red box. The 3D effects were disappointing, the story was lame, the blood and effects were some of the worst I have seen and over all it was just a disappointment.

                 

              I give it ½ a cheery cheese danish

Due Date: The Planes Trains and Automobiles of 2010

Tagline: Leave Your Comfort Zone

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifianakis, Michelle Mohaghan Jamie Foxx, Juliette Lewis

Synopsis: Peter Highman needs to go to LA fast to be there for the birth of his first born child. But after being put on the “no fly list” he must travel across country with the man that helped put him on the no fly list Ethan Tremblay.

My Take: I felt like I was watching the classic 80s John Hughes hit “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” I mean hell its practically the same. A high strung character matched up with a overweight kind of easy going wacky person with a sad past and along the way silly shenanigans happen to them...but at the end they become friends. Sounds very similar…Except for the heart…PTA (as I will call for it this review) had the heart that John Hughes put into every one of his movies…The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and of course PTA amongst others.  Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that Due Date was bad because it didn’t have heart. No it was very funny and I found myself laughing all the way through…but the moments it was suppose to have the heart and the awww moments it just missed the mark.

                Now the film was directed by Todd Phillips, the same man that directed classics like; Old School, Starsky and Hutch, and last summer’s comedic hit The Hangover so you know you’re in for 90 minutes of absolute hilarity and great times and this movie certainly does not let you down. From the beginning you will laugh constantly at the mismatched couple and things they go through. The always snarky Downey Jr with his line deliveries and actions will always leave you laughing…the scene where he was watching the two kids while Zach was buying weed, absolutely hilarious. Don’t get me wrong Zach Galifianakis was good and had his funny moments with awkward stature and lines too but Downey Jr. stole the movie. Scene after scene there is either physical comedy, spoken comedy, or something outrageous happening to them. But aforementioned where the moments where it was suppose to tug at the heart strings and make you feel empathy for the characters you barely do…made you feel like you they through it in there to balance the movie. But while it lacks in some of those warm feeling it makes up with hilarity.

                                                                            *SPOILER*

Fav. Scene: Well it was very hard to pick just one but I did it. When Highman and Tremblay are trying to sleep in the car and turns out that Trembley was masturbating next to him and then his dog started.

Final Thought: See it in theaters…see it on DVD…doesn’t matter how you see it…just see it. Get your friends together get some tasty treats refreshing drinks and get yourself ready for a road trip…be prepared to laugh for 2236 miles.

                I give it 4½ Cherry Cheese Danishes.

Human Centipede....100% Medically Mind Numbing

Tagline: Thier Flesh is His Fantasy; 100% Medically Accurate

Cast: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura, Andreas Leupold, Peter Blankenstein

Synopsis: Two tourists (Shockingly enough) young American women on a Euro trip decid to go a German Club which on the way get a flat tire and are helped by a Dr Heiter…who shockingly enough is a “mad” dr. Who uses the 2 girls and also a captured china man to make a Human Centipede by medically attaching their mouths to each others Anus….let the FUN begin?

My Take: I first heard about this movie on The Free Beer and Hot Wings Show, a Radio show on our local rock station, they were talking about how “shocking it was”. So I had to see it, as my mind is sick and twisted and enjoy seeing crazy stuff like this in cinema. And what I saw was independent film trying to by shocking but not push the boundary. It was kind of fresh to see a film leave some of the gross stuff to the imagination. Now I’m not saying you don’t see the post surgery product itself but if this was a Major release film by major production company, they would try and compete with saw and you would end up seeing the sowing of mouth to anus uncensored and they would probably put a lot of other stuff we didn’t really have to see in it.

            *spoilers* Now to my dismay and what lead to me wanting to see this movie..is ultimately the downfall of this movie. This movie is neither shocking nor disturbing. Now I know I said earlier that it was refreshing not see the sick stuff. But a movie that was made to shock, disturb, and overall give you a feeling of dismay left you feeling unfazed.  Hell in test screenings people walked out cause some scenes were considered too controversial. But the most shocking part is the fact that people got so uppity. Compared to what is scene in movies like Saw, Hostel, and the Lucio Fulci films this movie is like watching Sharktopus. The story could have made it really creepy and disturbing…but the Dr who used to separate Siamese twins but then decided to make one is not that heinous and the only moment I found remotely disturbing was when the Chinese man Yelled in Chinese “I gotta SHIT!”  and the Dr encourages it by yelling “feed her YES!!! FEED HER.” The Dr keeping it as a pet I found kind of funny because instead of fighting back…which they could have several times I mean just because you have someone attached to your ass does not mean you can’t fight back. And he was really acting like it was dog. He took the “Centipede” in his back yard and tried to train it, he kept it in a cage at night, fed it off the ground pet it like a dog.

Fav. Scene: When the anesthesia was being injected into the China man, He turned into a Scat Man

WTF moment: When the detective sees the “Centipede” for the first time and instead of radioing for back up are medical help he steps back and runs toward his partners location.

Lesson learned: Just like in Hostel, Touristas, and several other films of this nature… if you are overseas  and some seemingly nice looking stranger offers you a drink or help…never EVER except it because you may find yourself being tortured, having your organs harvested and sold, or worse yet…being sown to someone anus..being forced to eat……his doo doo.

Final Thought:  for the media buzz this movie got for being shocking and controversial…it was very tame. The overall product seemed shallow with a mild and unexciting story. At the end you felt bad for the girl not because of what happened to her but where she is left in the movie. If you must see this movie then do so…otherwise…stay away….stay very far away

            I give it 1/2 cherry Cheese Danish